In memory of Tom Markham

I met Tom Markham in the spring of 1973 when my good friend and fraternity brother Scott Havsy recruited me to visit the TKE fraternity house. I was on a football scholarship and had become disillusioned with living in the football dorms for a multitude of reasons. So upon taking Scott up on his offer, I went to the fraternity and the first two people I met were Dennis Lingle and Tom Markham. I kinda knew pretty quick after meeting them that I wanted to be at this place. But little did I know that Tom and I would remain close for the rest of our lives and have a very emotional conversation when he was in his hospital bed close to death.

 In my life up to college, I never intentionally tried to be friends with anyone. I just was myself and if it was meant to be then so be it. If not, then oh well. But with Tom, it was different. I really hoped we would be good friends because there was just something about him. Virtually one of the most intelligent people I ever met. I think we all know that, and I do believe Southern Bell/ATT security department will vouch! But then in fall 1975 when Tom was supposed to come down for beginning of classes he called and told me he would be slightly delayed because he had a mole on his leg and it had gotten infected and they had to remove his lymph nodes. Nothing major according to him, just a small delay and he would be there ASAP. I wasn’t in the medical field then as I am now, but it didn’t sound good even at the time. And now being in the medical world I really know how serious it was back then. So I decided to go see him up in Connecticut. Lied to my mom, as she thought I was going to Miami. We had a great time up there for about a week. Played some basketball, downed some brews with his friends Kevin McDonaugh,  Sully, Jay, and Tim Markham. But Tom did complain to me a little about his medical condition. Said he felt more fatigued now, had less immunity to disease. But he was full functional.

 After leaving to go back to Miami, it would not be until the early 80’s before I saw him again. We had pretty much lost touch. But when he came down for a business trip to Miami 80-81, it was like we never lost a step. Had a blast. ONE SOUTH all over again for ole time’s sake.  Even my late best friend Alan Baxter commented to me how he could see what a close bond we had. I never hugged guys back then, but I did Tom whenever we would depart. We were bonded for life despite the lack of living proximity. So as the years went by we would "catch up" every now and then, but very infrequently. 

Fast forward to 2014 where we talked extensively a few times and he would bring me up to date on everything in his life (and vice versa) and how much he would love for me to take a trip up to Maine where he was now living. Unfortunately, I never made the trip and now regret it deeply. I should have made the time because I really wanted to see him and knew his medical condition was deteriorating and that there may not be a lot of time left. I am presently a hospice nurse and see these things every time I go to work. So I am so very happy that Scott Havsy and I regularly communicate, and am eternally grateful to him that he got me in touch with Tom a few months back. I called Tom at the hospital but little did I know that this would be our last conversation. The dialogue was very emotional for me because this was the first time that I had seen any notable mental impairment. It was hard for him to put sentences together but one thing that will live forever in my heart is that he told me how this was one of the best days of his life to be talking to me at this time. Words cannot express how moving that was and will always be. So despite all that was going on with him medically/mentally we were still able to share a few stories and have some laughs. 

So after having laughs and tears, Tom and I planned to talk again when he was feeling better, and maybe we would still work on that trip. Especially since I had reduced my work hours. But sadly that day never came to fruition.     

In closing, I’m so moved by these tributes from everyone for our fallen brother Tom Markham. May you rest in peace buddy. Your loyal friendship will live forever in our hearts. We love you!!

 Bob D, R.N.

In Memory of Thomas Markham

It is with great sorrow that Frater Thomas K. Markham of the Gamma Delta Chapter University of Miami passed away on November 28, 2021 after suffering from a very long illness.

I first met Tom in the fall of 1971 while we lived on the 4th floor of Mahoney Hall at the University of Miami.  We quickly became the best of friends.  Where ever he went I went.  Wherever I went… he went.   Tom was larger than life.  He loved Jim Morrison and the Doors and knew every word of every Doors’ song.  Soon I became a Doors’ fan.

Tom grew up in Darien, Connecticut and the summer before our sophomore year

I visited him at his home and met his mom, dad and sister Katherine.  But the fun part of that vacation was hanging out with his friends Kevin, Jay and Sully who he often spoke about.  We went to the Twin Towers in NYC, drove to New Haven, Connecticut and attended the Doors and Kinks concert at the Yale Bowl and partied in NYC on New Year’s Eve, bringing in 1972.

We drove down to the “U” at the start our sophomore year.  I remember getting pulled over on Highway 17 because the car was weaving.  Tom’s car didn’t have power steering and we were towing a U Haul.  Fortunately, the state trooper didn’t see the empty cans of beer we drank the day before and let us go. 

The fall semester of ’72 we lived a few doors down from each other on the fourth floor of Eaton Hall.  I was pre-med and Tom was pre-law.  He would have made a brilliant attorney.  The following spring Tom was living at the Teke House and he invited me over to meet the guys as I was interested in intramural sports…. He and I pledged Teke and in the spring of ’73 and I ended up coaching the flag football team in the fall and Tom gave me the nickname Ara Par Havsy after Ara Parseghian, the head coach of Notre Dame.

Though Tom and I went our separate ways academic-wise, we always remained good friends while at college. He was an avid audiophile.  He had the first room on the right-hand side as you walked up the stair case.  I remember his BSR turntable… Sony amplifier… JBL 15-inch speakers… cranking out the Doors… all state of the art.  We were all schooled by Tom how to handle vinyl records.  

After graduating from the “U” in 1975, I went off to medical school. Tom and I grew out of touch as is often the case when you graduate, but out of the blue around 2015, I got an email from Tom. He must gotten my email address from the Teke directory.  We exchanged phone numbers, and I remember the first time we spoke it was for close to three hours and it seemed like yesterday when I last spoke to Tom.  His voice hadn’t changed one bit.  We spoke several times, and then lost touch until 2019. Tom’s health issues started taking a turn for the worst, and our contacts became less and less frequent.

Sometime in the mid-70s or early 80s, Tom worked for his father’s publishing house and eventually worked in the medical field becoming very successful selling anatomical models to the healthcare industry.  

Because of Tom, I reconnected with our former Prytanis Dennis Lingle.  

Tom was quite the character. There are a lot of things that we did as college students and fraternity brothers that are better left unsaid, but I am a better person for having Tom as a friend.

Tom is survived by his life partner Leslie and his son Jack who lives in Tennessee.

Scott H
Gamma Delta 279
January 18, 2022

IN MEMORY OF Tom Markham

"Break on through to the other SIDE!!!!"

His Doors music that I play today in my car.

"Light My Fire" the one I play over and over again singing and thinking of Tommy Markham!

Tom was my little Brother at the Gamma Delta Chapter at the University of Miami.

The most loyal and dynamic person that I have ever met in my life!

His intellect and energy made him a giant force to be reckoned with in life.

He helped us to earn the Fraternity of the Year Award at Miami!!

As pledges Tom organized the group to steal our bus and leave us at the Gator/Canes game.

They ran off to Naples and tied our clothes in knots back at the House!

His class would be the most powerful group of young men to walk the Hall's of UM!!!

Tom is at peace with his Maker and God!

The most religious man that I knew.

We prayed together in June last year in Newport Rhode Island with our other Pal Andrew at Spivack 's daughter's wedding.

Dressed as the Dapper man he was heads and shoulders ahead of the fashion plates.

His 3-piece suit and suede shoes were a real show stopper!!!

The White suit was a Miami Vice original...

Tom only wanted to dine at the Best Restaurants during his business career.

Zagot's guide was his bible and he marked them off one at a time.

Andy and I were chastised if we didn't follow the other holy bible.

Tom would raise his voice like no one else and you snapped to attention!!!

Everything went back that wasn't just perfect Markham style.

Tom's Uncle was the Archbishop of Boston and rescued him from peril at Yankee Stadium from various business ventures like selling ice cream and driving a limo.

Big and Bold You knew what Tom stood for in politics and sports!!!

Just like Jim Morrison of the Door's.

Tom came into my life like a lightning bolt.

Joined the TEKES and became my little brother.

He called me YOUR PRYTANIS for 50 years.

We were going to celebrate the 50 years but ran out of time.

His last few years were difficult and hard.

In and out of hospitals and rehab centers.

Never complained about the pain and hardship.

Prayed to his God and told me the only thing he was missing was going to his Church.

My last note from Tom last year.

"Hey Denny"

Surprise! This is the Cigar box I promised to send you, when we settled down for my first stogie in years-and it was Good.

Sorry it took so long to send it.

I apologize Prytanis.

Enjoy a Great one on St. Patrick's Day

"Were cut from the same Cloth"

I love you

God Bless---Tom

 WOW

He was a Great Man as Scott H said earlier. He could have been a Special Lawyer... f he focused on it.

His pal Andy Spivack is an attorney out of the UM and they were the best of friends for 50 years.

Dennis L
Tau Kappa Epsilon
Prytanis
1972-1973
UM
Iron Arrow.
January 18, 2022